Asberger's and consequences

The worst thing about having Asperger's is being so often mistaken, for me specifically about belonging to a group. I recently joined a critique group (the old one I belonged to for a decade ended when everybody moved or got a job) and was put on probation. Then my probation was extended an extra month because I did not give long enough critiques of the other members' works. OK, longer, more detailed critiques coming. So I thought I was doing okay and getting along with everybody when I got the email today telling me that I was being dropped from the group. I am blind-sided about this type of thing every single time. How is it that so often I think all of us are getting along in a group and I can't tell that I am truly bothering the other members? How can I stop bothering people when I can't even tell that I am bothering people? Heh, and my husband wonders why I don't join more organizations and get more social. He has never been asked to leave a group, (indeed he is usually asked to assume leadership) and so he has no idea how much it hurts.